Heads You Lose

A Novel

By Lisa Lutz + David Hayward

From our Blog

A Thoughtful Review

I’ll keep this one short since I prattled on last time about myself and my namesakes.

Heads You Lose has already received some nice critical attention from mainstream publications, but it’s somehow even more gratifying to hear that non-professional book lovers are enjoying it. (Apparently there are a few advance copies floating around out there.)

The book recently got an exuberant review from a blogger who seems like a particularly fascinating guy. Personally I think he’s a little hard on Lisa, but he does make some convincing points. Check it out at Jerry Blake’s Stuff & Such.

Response from Lisa:

Jerry Blake? Why does that name sound familiar? Congratulations on creating a fictional character that I have no way of murdering.

I must admit that I envy you having the time to spend on phony blog posts while I’m toiling away with a brutal book deadline. How is The Mellman Files coming along?


“Some people just shit diamonds…” Jerry Blake should know; the man is a genius.

Stephen, I know you’re Dave. This is ridiculous. And, I repeat my sentiment from the comment I left on Jerry Blake’s blog: One would think you’d pick a higher caliber of imaginary fans.

My algorithmic semantic analysis of this review, when compared with the book Heads You Lose, suggest some interesting findings that, I am afraid, seem to corroborate the opinion of Ms. Lutz.

While we can assume that Ms. Lutz, as a human, is only guessing that Mr. Hayward is the author of said review, she nevertheless got lucky in this case. While the human brain is more like a bowl of noodles than a computer, when it comes to the complex analysis of these matters, it’s still possible that a random noodle might spell out the same correct answer as so perfectly calculated by the pinacle of computer science (and, yes I am talking about my new MacPro FTW!).

So, to make a long story short, the results of the analysis suggest that Mr. Hayward, as much as he may try to obscure his inventions, is nevertheless the victim of that most foolish part of the brain we call the unconscious. Unlike a computer that could randomly generate names and then perform additional processing to ensure semantic dissimilarity, Mr. Haywards choice of character names are his downfall.

In computer terms, we might summarize Mr. Haywards character name preference as follows:

?[e|a]rry ?ake[s+]

Thus we find that:

Jerry Blake

is, in fact, a very similar character name to Mr. Hayward’s Heads You Lose characters:

Terry Jakes
Harry Lakes

Based on this advanced finding, I think we can expect to see more reviews from Mr. Hayward written by people with names like:

Barry Fake
Larry Bakes


Liza, your slanders of this prince among men is pure meanness. His ten dollars and this free email account have done wonders for restoring my self-esteem and getting me back on the right track. However, the grocery sack of Stilton Files remainders has done nothing but make my sciatica flare up something fierce.

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